is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
