Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
