I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
