Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
It's blow job season.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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