I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
We had sex on a dog bed..
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
