Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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