drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
