Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
