We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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