forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
thus making me awesome and them whores
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
