There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
