There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
