Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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