im gay
i know
yea but for you.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
