I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize