So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize