Is it normal to miss your booty call?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
