I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
