is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
