sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
