Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
