just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
