I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
just found out that she named her cat after me.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
