yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
