I'm so fucking centered right now
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
