I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
