you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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