he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
