i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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