so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
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