Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
