Define "chronic" masturbator.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
