i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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