i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
