It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
