She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
