when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
