Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
