At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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