smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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