Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize