i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize
