dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
