you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize