God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
