You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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