I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
