I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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