when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Someone signed my nipple.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
