You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I checked into jail on foursquare
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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