So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
