also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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