It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Randomize