Please, let me fuck your mom
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
