I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
