Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
