clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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