I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
