they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
