I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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