Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
